History in the Making

Squirrel Helm

Over time the story became somewhat cloudy and muddled (sometimes it wasn’t a squirrel, but a rat), but the smith ever after maintained that it was the most stunning revelation he’d ever had. “If that vermin hadn’t decided to relax on the sun-warmed hull of my latest creation,” he told his chair (he was pushing 80), “I’d never have realized what I’d been missing all these years.”

And medieval war-fashion was never the same.

The Toyland Untensil Rebellion, Part 2

Eggbeater Bear

Excerpt from the diary of Hedgewold von Bufhousen

July 15, 1992

Dear Eloise,

This may come as a shock to you, but I was right all along. That creepy bear from the Wellinghouse Foundation’s annual Donation Drive and Chariot Race hates me.

I woke up from a deep, and what would have been rejuvenating, sleep around three o’clock in the morning to see it standing in my doorway, an eggbeater gripped in its villainously-stuffed paws. I was so startled, that I believe I fainted quite away. Upon rising in the morning, I found my entire shoelace collection a horrendous mess of frayed tangles – as if someone had taken an eggbeater to it. I believe this is more than mere coincidence.

From now on, I shall take a can of Raid to bed with me.

The Toyland Utensil Rebellion, Part 1

Spatula Ballerina

Excerpt from the diary of Hedgewold von Bufhousen

July 10, 1992

Dear Diary, or should I call you Elsa? I know we’ve been through a lot, and I’ve had my share of, shall we say, episodes, but even you can attest to the fact that I am categorically not insane.

Having said that, I now have the duty to report a most intriguing turn of events. I was sitting quietly in my reclining chair, my lovely hand-carved tobacco pipe firmly clutched in my handsome knuckles, when my eyes fell upon the mantle above my fireplace. More specifically, upon the small ballerina music box which Aunt Reginald had the foresight to bestow upon me last Easter.

I know this may sound strange to one such as yourself, but I’m quite positive the girl was holding one of my spatulas above her head! Though how she came upon it in the first place is a mystery to me, as is the apparent discrepancy in my spatula’s size from when I used it to get taffy off the cat last fortnight to now, as it sat, no more than an inch long, in the handless grip of a plastic doll. I must be getting old. In fact, I find myself not even liking fudge the way I used to.

P.S. Did you know a ballerina can also be called a danseuse? I find that rather humorous for some reason.

The Knight Knight

Knight Knight
Well, I figured that even though I’m off being aloof in Texas at the Flashforward conference, I could at least put up something interesting, if not somewhat random. If I actually had access to a scanner, it might be something relating a bit more to my current situation, but since I don’t, you’ll just have to wait ’till later to see Stickman Bob riding the conference logo.

Albino Kraken Lives!

Albino Kraken 1
Albino Kraken 2
Albino Kraken 3

That’s right folks. With the redesign comes not only new colors and a new header, but a new name (and domain name – take a look at the URL). And while I, for one, cannot doubt the absolute clarity that a title like Nathan’s Blog brought to this website, I also knew that it was, to put it bluntly, hideously boring.

This is less boring, hopefully.