Young Edna Weatherspindle
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Category Archives: Edna Weatherspindle
Tales of Edna Weatherspindle
One of the first recorded “umbrella warriors”, not much is known about Edna apart from what is described in the famous volume, Tales of Edna Weatherspindle, which focuses particularly on her life-long battle with the necromancer Dalsfveg.
She apparently took up the umbrella at quite a young age, and was instrumental in the defense of her town from a roving band of undead poultry. This event solidified the fame of both her and her umbrella “Sleetbane”, and probably marks the origin of her surname. Afterward, Edna essentially took on the duties of a knight errant, wandering the land and delivering swift and spiteful justice as needed. In fact, age seemed not to dampen her fortitude, but instead intensified the aforementioned swiftness and spitefulness until there were scant few evildoers who would not run screaming at the sight of a flowing pink nightgown and raised tangerine umbrella.
Attempts to place Edna within the context of the greater historical timeline are never conclusive, but most scholars believe we can at least target the Middle Ages with a decent amount of certainty. (The fact that the “black plague” is mentioned multiple times is less helpful than it sounds, as this was probably just a reference to the exploits of the Crowmonger during Edna’s childhood.)
Illustration Friday: Legendary
Cresting the hill, Edna glared at the unsightly hordes below as they glimmered sickly in the light of the new dawn. With a well-practiced flourish, she pointed Sleetbane to the sky.
“Dalsfveg!” She bellowed to the lone horse-bound figure protruding from the sea of reanimated corpses, “I warned you of the consequences, and yet here you are!” She stood taller in the saddle, silver hair whipping in the wind as if it had urgent business to the North. “And now,” she continued, her voice taking on a harder edge, “I am quite displeased.”
With that, she spurred her mount into the multitude of green bodies, followed in a headlong stampede by the Army of Nine Villages.
This, the last meeting of Edna Weatherspindle and Dalsfveg the Necromancer, was that of which legends are made.
-Excerpt from Tales of Edna Weatherspindle
More Edna: The Walrus Incident | Another Exceprt
The Umbrella Warrior
(click for large version)
Then Edna, eyes gleaming as the twin lamp-stones of the great East Tower, drew Sleetbane from its cradle and fell upon the gathered host of undead with violent indignation. It is said that with each horrible grey head or arm severed, Dalsfveg’s hold upon his army faltered, until the remaining few made a vain retreat in the direction of the river bed.
Overcome with rage, Dalsfveg himself slew those that escaped the whirling circle of Sleetbane’s destruction, until he found himself alone upon the muddy field now choked with the remnants of his army. Edna’s scornful laugh found him then, clawing its way though his visions of conquest, rending them beyond repair. And with a nondescript flourish of her bloodied umbrella, Edna bade the Necromancer farewell, remarking on the unfortunate predisposition of his minions to end up in pieces, and voicing the hope that his next deadly army would prove of less shoddy workmanship.
–Excerpt from Tales of Edna Weatherspindle
Illustration Friday: Snap
I guess the moral of the story is that you shouldn’t startle old ladies equipped with rain-gear. It’s just too dangerous.