Arachniturkey Historically

Arachniturkey: Medieval

Though our knowledge of the arachniturkey is mostly derived from modern-day accounts, there is some evidence that suggests it was also encountered in earlier times, making the common accusations regarding its inception (such as gene-tampering and toxic waste dumpage) somewhat of a moot point.

Take, for example, this medieval woodcut depicting a vicious attack on an unlucky wanderer by a beast which we can only assume to be an arachniturkey. Even though there are a few inconsistencies in relation to what we now know of the animal, such things can easily be attributed to a combination of symbolism and the likelihood that the artist had never actually seen the creature firsthand.

Penguin and Hair

Penguin and Hair

“Aha!” You cry, “Wheretofore didst crass author abscond with yon theme of weaponry?”

To which I reply:

  1. Stop talking like that. It sounds silly.
  2. I never said they all had to have weapons.
  3. I don’t suppose you’ve ever tried weaving the strands of your hair into a delicately braided yet lethal garrote, eh?